Posts Tagged ‘Gulder Ultimate Search’

I logged onto Twitter and saw Kofo tweet, ‘RIP Niggydip’. I remembered a friend who shared same name but I knew he could not be the one, he was too alive to die.
Then I saw someone describe the deceased as a humorous person. This was looking too much like Niggydip so I checked a mutual friend’s BBM update and it was confirmed.

When friends go, you remember moments in vivid detail. My remembrance of Dipo is distilled to three experiences.

Dipo Samson Egbedeyi

Dipo Samson Egbedeyi

On Friday, I noticed Dipo doing pushups. He was a funny soul and I knew he had a funny reason to explain his new physical fitness quest. The next day, he was off to contest at the Gulder Ultimate Search trials. Now, he was recounting his experience: The guy who drank the entire contents of his six cans before contesting, the person who almost drowned, the one who was already planning how to spend his winnings before even getting into the jungle. It was a funny account of the reality show’s entry competition. A story of his own trial and failure was being presented as humour.

Niggydip stayed in a lecturer’s boysquarters. The area was called ‘Computer’, because it was close to the computer laboratory built by Zenith Bank. I came around the BQ at night and Dipo was outside with clothes. He called me and said he had some clothes he had and wasn’t wearing, pointed to a bunch of clothes, some not worn and told me I could have any (or everything). It was a wonderful assortment – a Man U jersey, some denims – it was really exciting for me, the unexpectedness of it all. I tried to thank him but he was more concerned explaining to me how he had never worn most of them.

Niggydip always had something funny to say about anything. I’m not talking about conditional humour. I am talking about self-deprecatory humour, which is the best kind. So say something bad happened to him, expect him to joke about it.

He is gone now and I don’t remember things like his oil company job, the cool car he had as an undergrad or that he was one of the first people I saw with the iPod Touch. What I remember are scanty conversations in the night, chance conversations at the doorway, random run-ins.

I don’t remember the things we spend our life living for, but the moments. It makes me fear; if I go now, do people have any swear word free moments of me?
Out beyond ideas of right and wrong, there is a field, one filled with moments. What are yours and mine made of? When you lay in the earth and vain accomplishments do not mean a thing, what will people remember?

I will always remember Dipo as a smile, a laugh, a streak of light, an easy soul. Keep making beautiful moments up there bro!

R.I.P NiggyDip.

Parting Shot

You’re invited to my event next month

The Unsaid

The Unsaid

At 5: 00 a.m., I hear Augustus’ excited voice asking someone ‘So when will you be coming?’

I quickly stand up and bolt my door before he gets to my room. Augustus is the head of Follow-Up at Believer’s Love World. Every Sunday, he goes to all the rooms on the A-wing of Mariere Hall and invites the occupants to church. If you mistakenly say, ‘I have not ironed’, he will leave. And return with a can of Easy On spray starch so he can help you iron. Yeah, he is that persistent.

At 9: 00 a.m., I drag myself out of bed and start the preparations for church. Bath, Cream, Mouthwash, Iron, Spray Starch, Iron again, Borrow Cufflinks, Knot tie, remove tie and wear bowtie. At the end I stand in a pink shirt, black trouser, black monkey coat, black bowtie and silver cufflinks. Just then I hear a shout ‘Tafa! Tafa!!’

I get out and lean over the railings. There is Okechukwu, my model friend in a red Toyota Solara.

‘How far? You get laptop?’ he bellows

‘Nah, but I get Blackberry’ I reply

They laugh at the joke. I am not joking though

‘Oya, come make we go find for New Hall’ Ahmed shouts from the other window.

I imagine the wahala of going round to use the staircase. What the hell? The car is just below me directly.  I jump down from the first floor and enter the car

‘Nice outfit’, Okechukwu says as we zoom off

‘Tafa, wetin dey carry you go church?’ Ahmed teases

But I am not listening to all these. There is something more pressing on the car’s backseat. At the back of the car are a dozen cans of Gulder.

Okechukwu follows the direction of my eyes and laughs.

‘They don’t need it with the content. You can drink everything, sha give me the empty can’

Okechuwku wants to enter for the Ultimate Search competition. The requirements include six cans of beer and a form that needs to be downloaded off the net.

Soon the car is filled with the pop sound of canned beer been opened and the accompanying gurgle sound of liquid been swallowed at high velocity. I was in the Beer Part of my life.

In the backseat of the Solara

We get to New Hall and the cybercafés are not open. ‘Modupe just buy laptop o, She go dey FSS now’. That’s Ahmed again. He has a way of focusing on whatever comes out of the car’s stereo and talking only when absolutely necessary.

So we turn and head for The Faculty of Social Science building. And so it happens, we see Modupe on the other side of the road walking back to New Hall.

‘Modupe, Modupe’ I scream, but she does not answer. Girls can be proud sha. Then I notice the glasses are wound up, that is why she did not hear. No, I am not drunk.

Now we have turned and are on the other side of the road’s divide. The Toyota Camry in front of us seems to have stopped. No, it is moving. But it has stopped again. But it is now moving slowly. No, I am not drunk.

The guy in the Camry is trying to get Modupe’s attention. ‘Hey, hey’ he shouts but she does not favour him with as much as a glance. ‘Hey Pretty’, he croaks but she only walks faster. ‘Hi gorgeous’ he says softly and she finally turns, but it is to kill mosquito. All the while, we are driving calmly behind him waiting out turn.

Finally, he drives off and we resume his position, now moving, stopping and moving slowly.

‘Modupe, Modupe’ Okechukwu calls but she gives us same treatment

‘Modupe, it is me’ Ahmed says hoping she will look at us. Fail!

That’s Modupe. You see why there is Go-Slow everytime she is on the road.

I try to help him out ‘Modupe, we are not gorgeous. I mean, we do not call strangers gorgeous’ but she keeps walking. I think she smiles at this.

Finally, we get Modupe’s attention and she comes in for the ride back to New Hall. She could not help us with her laptop though. I can’t remember why. Now, I am drunk. I do not mean now. I mean on that fateful day.

Now, I am done with school. I am in the working part of my life. Okechukwu is done with looking for laptops on Sunday mornings.  He actually won the Ultimate Search competition and entered the history books as Ultimate Man Eight. Then he went on to act in Tinsel, model for MTN and sha make history.

Now, Gulder is organizing a competition to vote for the Best Ultimate man of all times. For been relevant after winning the crown, for his journey there, for been such a great guy and for the confidence to disturb people on Sunday mornings, I think Okechukwu Christopher Okagbue deserves the crown.

Please vote for him as many times as possible on http://bytesizeng.com/guspoll/.... www.facebook.com/GulderNigeria and www.gulderultimatesearch.tv

Qriss 🙂